Have you ever been at the brink of breaking down, feeling like you are going to scream, or wishing that the day would just end? I have. Moms tend to want to pretend that we have it all under control ... well at least I do. In life, there will always be a moment or two or fifty that you feel that you are not at your best as a mom and I wanted to share one of mine with you.
We have all been there, when we feel like we are doing nothing right. For me it is when I am at the store with my kids and they are out of their minds going crazy, when we are in the car on the way to anywhere and I cannot take the time to listen because they are all talking at the same time, or when things are not going right at the house and the rooms are in total destruction. I like to think that I have brought my kids up so well that these moments would not occur; however, even the best behaved children like mine have their moments too.
I find myself being this person I do not want to be. I raise my voice, become frustrated, and even take out my bad attitude out on my husband and kids who has nothing to do with it. They are with myself. All while outsiders are complimenting how well I have it all together. I have to laugh sometimes, because if they truly knew how I feel like I have nothing under control they might not see things the way they do now.
The Moment ... Our three girls share one modest sized room. They had a hard time keeping it clean. Toys would be everywhere and they did not want to clean after themselves. I told them that they had one finial chance to get it clean or everything that they did not buy themselves would be donated to someone else who could take care of it all better. Long story short, they didn't clean like I asked and I am one to keep my word. Everything was gone the following day and they were not happy campers.
So you would think over the next year they would remember to keep their room clean with reminders of what happened before and the reward of getting new and more grown up bedroom sets when they did clean up. Nope, not a chance. So everyday I find myself fighting with them to keep it clean, to take care of their things, to have respect for their space, and to at least have enough sense to not leave anything on the floor that would get broken if they stepped on it.
The Reaction ... Reality hit me hard yesterday as someone I hold dear to me came over. I showed her the room and explained to her how upset it makes me and how it becomes a screaming match between the girls and the hubs and I. She simple said, " ...it is three little girls in a small room. Try to think how you would feel." And it hit me. I have been fighting and yelling and gripping with my children, and for what ???? A cleaner room???
I will always have moments when I may not be the best mom I could be or have a slight slip in the character that I would like to share with and see in them. This dear friend reminded me to pick my battles and to enjoy the time I do have. Nothing in life will fall in place the way we always want it to. Taking this step to ease off of the perfection thing I seem to want to come from a group of children when I myself am no where near is important.
Moms, take the time to love in the moment, to enjoy the things life brings you, and to not allow the unimportant little things to change your demeanor. This is what I will be working on these coming months.
Xo ~ Claudia
I am Wife/Mom/Student/Teacher/Girl Scout Leader/Soccer Mom/Gymnastic Mom/Person/Sinner/Believer ~ I may be one person but I wear many hats.