dealing with the mess of things

i am kind of stuck not knowing what to do. i am at the moment dealing with so much and trying to keep a smile on my face. my world has kind of been turned up side down. while i have a happy yet very stressful blessing to be thankful about(getting a new home) on the flip side i have lost my nephew.

im not sure how to deal with it all. how long do i stay angry and how long do i stay quiet. i dont know really. i look at my children even harder now trying to remember every last thing that they do. i want to know what each smile is about and if i can make them smile bigger.

stress, fear, anger and worriment.... i am feeling them all and at once. the beginning of the school year has helped a little. Marcie has kept me busy and has me coming to what i love a lot this blog. and my friends have been understanding about me not totally being here.

im sure i will snap out of it soon, i dont want to be a let down. i am sure i will be that old claudia again, if that is even possible. but in all of this i still have faith and i feel beyond blessed.

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